It was three thousand years ago
The Greeks went forth with ships and men
To lay the pride of Priam low,
And very few came back again!
I thought the war a sad mistake —
A fact well known to every boy;
Thersites was the name I bore,
And I opposed the siege of Troy.

In later times historians tell
That Rome and Carthage came to blows
And ultimately Carthage fell —
Again, as every schoolboy knows.
I mocked the Roman Senate's schemes,
I mocked the Roman soldier's scars;
I was a Roman citizen,
And I opposed the Punic wars.

Then, coming to more modern days,
When Drake was on the Spanish Main,
'Twas I alone declined to praise
The man who broke the power of Spain.
And when from Elba Nap returned,
And Belgium saw the final coup ,
I said hard things of Wellington
And disapproved of Waterloo.

And, therefore, now, when Mr. K.
Has left his capital and fled,
And Milner, I regret to say,
Seems to be reigning in his stead,
When England has avenged her sons
Who died on Amajuba's hill,
A pattern of consistency,
You see me disapproving still.