Classic Poem

A metropolitan rat invited
His country cousin in town to dine;
The country cousin replied, " Delighted. "
And signed himself, " Sincerely thine. "
The town rat treated the country cousin
To half a dozen
Kinds of wine.

He served him terrapin, kidneys devilled,
And roasted partridge, and candied fruit;
In Little Neck Clams at first they revelled,
And then in Pommery, sec and brut;
The country cousin exclaimed: " Such feeding
Proclaims your breeding
Beyond dispute! "

But just as, another bottle broaching,
They came to chicken en casserole
A ravenous cat was heard approaching,
And, passing his guest a finger-bowl,
The town rat murmured, " The feast is ended. "
And then descended
The nearest hole.

His cousin followed him, helter-skelter,
And, pausing beneath the pantry floor,
He glanced around at their dusty shelter
And muttered, " This is a beastly bore.
My place as an epicure resigning,
I'll try this dining
In town no more.

" You must dine some night at my rustic cottage;
I'll warn you now that it's simple fare:
A radish or two, a bowl of pottage,
And the wine that's known as ordinaire ,
But for holes I haven't to make a bee-line,
No prowling feline
Molests me there.

" You smile at the lot of a mere commuter,
You think that my life is hard, mayhap,
But I'm sure than you I am far acuter:
I ain't afraid of no cat nor trap. "
The city rat could but meekly stammer,
" Don't use such grammar,
My worthy chap. "

He dined next night with his poor relation,
And caught dyspepsia, and lost his train,
He waited an hour in the lonely station,
And said some things that were quite profane.
" I'll never, " he cried, in tones complaining,
" Try entertaining
That rat again. "

It's easy to make a memorandum
About THE MORAL these verses teach:
De gustibus non est disputandum;
The meaning of which Etruscan speech
Is wheresoever you're hunger quelling
Pray keep your dwelling
In easy reach.