Classic Poem

My dear Mr. Inkling:
We want in a twinkling
A story just tinkling
With humor and zest;
Not gloomy or fearful
Or morbid or tearful
But pleasant and cheerful —
And one of your best.

The kind that we meet with
But seldom; a treat with
A plot that's replete with
Heart interest, you know;
Original, truly;
And yet not unduly
Bizarre or unruly,
But quite comme il faut .

We like brisk narrations
With bright conversations
And lively flirtations
(That end with a ring),
Or young politicians
And maidens with missions
Who better Conditions
And that sort of thing.

We're fond of the prattle
Of punchers of cattle;
We'll stand for the rattle
Of guns, and a deal
Of ranch or hacienda;
Or maybe you'll send a
Romance a la Zenda
All flashing with steel.

We trust that you're shipping
A tale simply ripping
And virile and gripping,
Yet nothing above
Our Readers, nor slushy
Nor mushy nor gushy,
But — oh, slightly blushy,
With plenty of love!