Classic Poem

I wish I were a Girl Guide,
And looked so bright and neat
And made my young subordinates
Salute me in the street.
But none have ever called me neat
And few have called me bright,
And the young who see me are amused
And double up at sight.

I wish I were a Girl Guide,
And wore so large a hat
Curled up abruptly at the side
With a nice cockade like that.