How difficult, alas! to please mankind!
One or the other every moment mutters :
This wants an eastern, that a western wind:
A third, petition for a southern, utters.
Some pray for rain, and some for frost and snow:
How can Heaven suit all palates? — I don't know.
Good Lamb, the curate, much approved,
Indeed by all his flock beloved ,
Was one dry summer begged to pray for rain:
The parson most devoutly prayed —
The powers of prayer were soon displayed;
Immediately a torrent drenched the plain.
It chanced that the church warden, Robin Jay,
Had of his meadow not yet saved the hay:
Thus was his hay to health quite past restoring.
It happened too that Robin was from home;
But when he heard the story, in a foam
He sought the parson, like a lion roaring.
" Zounds! Parson Lamb, why, what have you been doing?
A pretty storm, indeed, ye have been brewing!
What! pray for rain before I saved my hay!
Oh! you're a cruel and ungrateful man!
I that forever help you all I can;
Ask you to dine with me and Mistress Jay,
Whenever we have something on the spit,
Or in the pot a nice and dainty bit;
" Send you a goose, a pair of chicken
Whose bones you are so fond of picking;
And often too a cag of brandy!
You that were welcome to a treat,
To smoke and chat, and drink and eat;
Making my house so very handy!
" You , parson, serve one such a scurvy trick!
Zounds! you must have the bowels of Old Nick.
What! bring the flood of Noah from the skies,
With my fine field of hay before your eyes!
A numskull, that I wer'n't of this aware. —
Curse me but I had stopped your pretty prayer! "
" Dear Mister Jay? " quoth Lamb, " alas! alas!
I never thought upon your field of grass. "
" Lord! parson, you 're a fool, one might suppose —
Was not the field just underneath your nose?
This is a very pretty losing job! " —
" Sir, " quoth the curate, " know that Harry Cobb
Your brother warden joined, to have the prayer. " —
" Cobb! Cobb! why this for Cobb was only sport :
What doth Cobb own that any rain can hurt? "
Roared furious Jay as broad as he could stare.
" The fellow owns, as far as I can larn ,
A few old houses only, and a barn;
As that's the case, zounds! what are showers to him?
Not Noah's flood could make his trumpery swim .
" Besides — why could you not for drizzle pray?
Why force it down in buckets on the hay?
Would I have played with your hay such a freak?
No! I'd have stopped the weather for a week. "
" Dear Mister Jay, I do protest,
I acted solely for the best;
I do affirm it, Mister Jay, indeed.
Your anger for this once restrain,
I'll never bring a drop again
Till you and all the parish are agreed . "
One or the other every moment mutters :
This wants an eastern, that a western wind:
A third, petition for a southern, utters.
Some pray for rain, and some for frost and snow:
How can Heaven suit all palates? — I don't know.
Good Lamb, the curate, much approved,
Indeed by all his flock beloved ,
Was one dry summer begged to pray for rain:
The parson most devoutly prayed —
The powers of prayer were soon displayed;
Immediately a torrent drenched the plain.
It chanced that the church warden, Robin Jay,
Had of his meadow not yet saved the hay:
Thus was his hay to health quite past restoring.
It happened too that Robin was from home;
But when he heard the story, in a foam
He sought the parson, like a lion roaring.
" Zounds! Parson Lamb, why, what have you been doing?
A pretty storm, indeed, ye have been brewing!
What! pray for rain before I saved my hay!
Oh! you're a cruel and ungrateful man!
I that forever help you all I can;
Ask you to dine with me and Mistress Jay,
Whenever we have something on the spit,
Or in the pot a nice and dainty bit;
" Send you a goose, a pair of chicken
Whose bones you are so fond of picking;
And often too a cag of brandy!
You that were welcome to a treat,
To smoke and chat, and drink and eat;
Making my house so very handy!
" You , parson, serve one such a scurvy trick!
Zounds! you must have the bowels of Old Nick.
What! bring the flood of Noah from the skies,
With my fine field of hay before your eyes!
A numskull, that I wer'n't of this aware. —
Curse me but I had stopped your pretty prayer! "
" Dear Mister Jay? " quoth Lamb, " alas! alas!
I never thought upon your field of grass. "
" Lord! parson, you 're a fool, one might suppose —
Was not the field just underneath your nose?
This is a very pretty losing job! " —
" Sir, " quoth the curate, " know that Harry Cobb
Your brother warden joined, to have the prayer. " —
" Cobb! Cobb! why this for Cobb was only sport :
What doth Cobb own that any rain can hurt? "
Roared furious Jay as broad as he could stare.
" The fellow owns, as far as I can larn ,
A few old houses only, and a barn;
As that's the case, zounds! what are showers to him?
Not Noah's flood could make his trumpery swim .
" Besides — why could you not for drizzle pray?
Why force it down in buckets on the hay?
Would I have played with your hay such a freak?
No! I'd have stopped the weather for a week. "
" Dear Mister Jay, I do protest,
I acted solely for the best;
I do affirm it, Mister Jay, indeed.
Your anger for this once restrain,
I'll never bring a drop again
Till you and all the parish are agreed . "