I HAVE ransacked the encyclopedias
And slid my fingers among topics and titles
Looking for you.

And the answer comes slow.
There seems to be no answer.

I shall ask the next banana peddler the who and the why of it.

Or—the iceman with his iron tongs gripping a clear cube in summer sunlight—maybe he will know.

Lett fickle Fortune runn her blyndest race,
I setled have an unremovèd mynde;
I scorne to be the game of Phancie's chase,
Or fane to shewe the change of every winde.
Light giddy humours, stinted to no rest,
Still change their choyse, yet never choose the best.

My choise was guided by foresightfull heede,
It was averrèd with approvinge will;
It shall be followed with performinge deede,
And seald with vow, till death the chooser kill.
Yea death, though finall date of vayne desires,
Endes not my choise, which with no tyme expires.

I prest my Julia's lips, and in the kisse
Her Soule and Love were palpable in this.

Love's of it self, too sweet; the best of all
Is, when loves hony has a dash of gall.

I said: This is a beautiful fresh rose.
I said: I will delight me with its scent;
Will watch its lovely curve of languishment,
Will watch its leaves unclose, its heart unclose.
I said: Old earth has put away her snows,
All living things make merry to their bent,
A flower is come for every flower that went
In autumn, the sun glows, the south wind blows.
So walking in a garden of delight
I came upon one sheltered shadowed nook
Where broad leaf shadows veiled the day with night,
And there lay snow unmelted by the sun:—

I love thy music, mellow bell,
I love thine iron chime,
To life or death, to heaven or hell,
Which calls the Sons of Time.

Thy voice upon the deep
The homebound sea-boy hails,
It charms his cares to sleep,
It cheers him as he sails.

To house of God & heavenly joys
Thy summons called our sires,
And good men thought thy sacred voice
Disarmed the thunder's fires.

And soon thy music, sad death-bell!
Shall lift its notes once more,
And mix my requiem with the wind
That sweeps my native shore.

XVIII

Though I myself be bridled of my mind,
Returning me backward by force express,
If thou seek honour to keep thy promise,
Who may thee hold, my heart, but thou thyself unbind?
Sigh then no more since no way man may find
Thy virtue to let though that frowardness
Of fortune me holdeth; and yet as I may guess,
Though other be present, thou art not all behind.
Suffice it then that thou be ready there
At all hours, still under the defence
Of time, truth, and love to save thee from offence,
Crying, ‘I burn in a lovely desire

That very time I saw, but thou couldst not,
Flying between the cold moon and the earth,
Cupid all armed: a certain aim he took
At a fair vestal throned by the west,
And loosed his love-shaft smartly from his bow,
As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts:
But I might see young Cupid's fiery shaft
Quenched in the chaste beams of the watery moon,
And the imperial votaress passed on,
In maiden meditation, fancy-free.
Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell:
It fell upon a little western flower,
Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound,

This reward have I for my love and pain:
To feel through pain the sweet love deeper grow;
The more I sacrifice, the more to know
Of the pure secrets of love's inner fane.
Yes, this is great and worth sharp pangs,—to gain
Exquisite tender priceless knowledge so
Of how the passionate heart of Love can glow
Immortally, while mortal we remain.

To feel my love wax deeper day by day:
This is love's tender and divine reward;
To find that perfect love no boundary keeps,
But ever with inevitable sword
That hurls all base and evil things away

Because my soul is strong, but thine is as a flower;
Because I am a cloud that stoops above thy bower
With thunder in its song:
Because thou art so sweet, and full of beauty gracious;
Because my soul is large, and through its vistas spacious
Roam dreams of pain all day and all night long:

Because we are alike in nothing, and can never
Be more like than the flower and cloud that shields for ever
The simple flower and fair:
Because the bitter god, the singing god Apollo,
Is ever unto me the one god whom I follow,
I love past loving thy black bayless hair.