Lewis Carroll
Bought sumptuous apparel
And built an enormous palace
Out of the profits of Alice .

Thomas Carlyle
Suffered with his bile.
He wrote Sartor Resartus ;
But that shan't part us.

Although Don Bradman
Screamed and fought like a madman
And condemned the proceedings in toto ,
They insisted on taking his photo.

" Corruptio optimi pessima!"
Grinned Sir Henry Bessemer.
" Judicio vulgi demens!"
Snorted Sir William Siemens.

When the Venerable Bede
Wanted to play Juvenile Lead
They said they would much rather
He took the Heavy Father.

Scotland! thy weather 's like a modish wife!
Thy winds and rains , forever, are at strife:
So, TERMAGANT , a while, her Thunder tries,
And, when she can no longer scold — she cries .

Women to cards may be compar'd: we play
A round or two; when us'd we throw away;
Take a fresh pack: nor is it worth our grieving
Who cuts or shuffles with our dirty leaving.

Of injur'd same, and mighty wrongs receiv'd,
Chloe complains, and wondrously 's aggriev'd.
That free, and lavish of a beauteous face,
The fairest and the foulest of her race;
She 's mine, or thine; and strolling up and down
Sucks in more filth than any sink in Town,
I not deny; this I have said, 't is true:
What wrong! to give so bright a nymph her due.

EPIGRAM .

When Fortune seems to smile, 'tis then I fear
Some lurking ill, and hidden mischief near:
Us'd to her frowns, I stand upon my guard,
And, arm'd in virtue, keep my soul prepar'd.
Fickle and false to others she may be,
I can complain but of her constancy.

Forgive me, Chloris! nor my rudeness blame,
Strange, as it is, this frost has bred a flame!
Driv'n from your breast, I glow, with new desire,
And melt, like straggling snow , that falls on fire .
Had you been black, you might have shun'd this blow;
For diff'rent colours wou'd each other show,
But, oh! you're fair , and cold , and soft , and every way like snow .