i have so much love in me, it spills
like milk left too long in the sun—
sweet, then sour, then spoiled
by hands that never learned how to hold it.

i pour it anyway.
into cracked cups,
into mouths that spit it back.
into cold palms that only know how to take.



my father loved with silence and slammed doors.
affection was a myth i found in fairytales—
and in the way my mother folded my laundry
without asking.



he looked at me like a stranger who never left.
not like a daughter.
not like blood.

I have a compass, it's inside me.
I know it's there, but doesn't work.
It feels more stable down to the lake,
The lake grips arrow and moves it to the home.
The waves, they shush at me, the waves, they sing to me,
The masts of yachts repeating through vibrations
Keep on, go on, bring on!
The journey's long, but you don't have to go anywhere
I am paddling here and  my oar is a golden ray of sun
You see the sparkling fishes there?
They are my dreams, my pasts in huge pot of the life.
My soul meets the compass, there, I see my way again

          XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I’m running away!
Furiously stomping, screen slamming as I ran,
Bravery ended
At the property line.
Barely larger than a rabbit burrow,
The child-sized opening welcomed me inside.
I found refuge under a covering of multiflora roses
Against the fence, a cozy warren.
Sobbing my anger away,
I slept peacefully beneath the safety of briars and bees
Buzzing as they collected pollen above my head.
Br’er Rabbit had nothing on me.
I awoke to hear Mum calling.
Stubborn resolve prevented my answer.

Yours truly and the wife
tended to some errands,
which included going
to the Limerick,
Pennsylvania Citizens Bank
for me to rectify
an erroneous address
indicating I Matthew Harris
purportedly and presently domiciled at:
96 West Miner Street
(and whereinthehellis)
Coaldale, Pennsylvania
18218-1017
which address listed after viewing
online banking screen
indicating Good morning,
afternoon or evening,
then scrolling down
to sought after preference selecting
either checking or savings account
then clicking on View

For breakfast, I munched on the melodies that broke me,
The running water down my back, I’m swallowing a lonely sea,
Pouring out these worries isn’t really helping,
And this pain is so overwhelming.

At lunch time, I ate my darkness and drank my tears,
I feasted on my sorrows and got lost in my fears,
Camouflaged into a chameleon and faked my best smile,
Knowing I’d get home, then cry a long while.

For dinner, I succumbed to the memories that haunted me,

"I Am the Ocean of Wounds"
(a colossal lament of love that never ends)

I am the ocean of wounds,
swallowing storms born from sleepless tears.
Even the sky gave up crying for my story,
until the clouds broke their bones under the weight of endless longing.
Lightning refuses to strike, fearing the sorrow I gulp down whole,
while the night simply sits, watching me without mercy,
letting me sink deeper into pain without a bottom.