Miss Virginia's Cadillac

It was bound to happen.
That’s what my dead husband, Richard would say if he were here today.
“Ginny, you can’t go around telling people you have a car that Elvis once drove and not have people be jealous.
That’s just hateful and mean.
He put me away for a month
Doctor said I got bipolar
Tried to explain it to me, but I didn’t listen
For making me sleep in a room that smelled like piss
I was determined to make my husband pay.
I put arsenic in his coffee every morning.
That bastard called me mean and put me away
Hell I’ll show him mean.
He died a year later in a car accident.
I was so sure the arsenic would get him, oh well.
 
Now look at me, dead as a damn doornail, my face half blown off and drinking the worst bourbon I have ever tasted.
When I was little, my friend, Evie who married a preacher told me that when you die you have no pain, only peace.
That’s a goddamn lie.
Evie should be gagged for making such a claim.
Of course, I am not in heaven.
The angel of death didn’t come for me.
I’m an old woman living alone in Auraria who happened to die violently.
Shit, I don’t know anybody in the DAR who’s been shot.
You would think the good Lord who claims to love everybody would take me home to His Kingdom.