Classic Poem

[Cry within 'hold him, hold him.' Enter Mouse
the Clown with a pot.]

MOUSE.
Hold him, hold him, hold him! here's a stir indeed.
Here came hue after the crier: and I was set close
at mother Nips' house, and there I called for three
pots of ale, as tis the manner of us courtiers. Now,
sirra, I had taken the maiden head of two of them.
Now, as I was lifting up the third to my mouth,
there came: hold him, hold him! now I could not
tell whom to catch hold on, but I am sure I caught
one: perchance a may be in this pot. Well, I'll
see: mas, I cannot see him yet; well, I'll look a
little further. Mas, he is a little slave, if a be here.
Why, here's no body. All this goes well yet: but if
the old trot should come for her pot--aye, marry,
there's the matter, but I care not; I'll face her out,
and call her old rusty, dusty, musty, fusty, crusty
firebrand, and worse than all that, and so face her
out of her pot: but soft, here she comes.

[Enter the old woman.]

OLD WOMAN.
Come on, you knave: where's my pot, you knave?

MOUSE.
Go look your pot: come not to me for your pot
twere good for you.

OLD WOMAN.
Thou liest, thou knave; thou hast my pot.

MOUSE.
You lie, and you say it. I your pot! I know what
I'll say.

OLD WOMAN.
Why, what wilt thou say?

MOUSE.
But say I have him, and thou darst.

OLD WOMAN.
Why, thou knave, thou hast not only my pot but my
drink unpaid for.

MOUSE.
You lie like an old--I will not say whore.

OLD WOMAN.
Dost thou call me whore? I'll cap thee for my pot.

MOUSE.
Cap me & thou darest, search me whether I have it
or no.

[She searcheth him, and he drinketh over her head
and casts down the pot; she stumbleth at it; then
they fall together by the ears; she takes her pot and
goes out. Exit.]

[Enter Segasto.]

SEGASTO.
How now, sirra, what's the matter?

MOUSE.
Oh, flies, master, flies.

SEGASTO.
Flies? where are they?

MOUSE.
Oh here, master, all about your face.

SEGASTO.
Why, thou liest; I think thou art mad.

MOUSE.
Why, master, I have killed a duncart full at the least.

SEGASTO.
Go to, sirra! leaving this idle talk, give ear to me.

MOUSE.
How? give you one of my ears? not & you were ten
masters.

SEGASTO.
Why, sir, I bid you give ear to my words.

MOUSE.
I tell you I will not be made a curtall for no man's
pleasure.

SEGASTO.
I tell thee, attend what I say: go thy ways straight
and rear the whole town.

MOUSE.
How? rear the town? even go your self; it is more
than I can do: why, do you think I can rear a town,
that can scarce rear a pot of ale to my head? I should
rear a town, should I not?

SEGASTO.
Go to the custable and make a privy search, for the
shepherd is run away with the King's daughter.

MOUSE.
How? is the shepherd run away with the king's
daughter? or is the king's daughter run away with
the shepherd?

SEGASTO.
I cannot tell, but they are both gone together.

MOUSE.
What a fool is she to run away with the shepherd!
why, I think I am a little handsomer man than the
shepherd my self; but tell me, master, must I make
a privy search, or search in the privy?

SEGASTO.
Why, doest thou think they will be there?

MOUSE.
I cannot tell.

SEGASTO.
Well, then, search every where; leave no place
unsearched for them.

[Exit.]

MOUSE.
Oh now am I in office; now will I to that old
firebrand's house & will not leave one place
unsearched: nay, I'll to her ale stand & drink as
long as I can stand, & when I have done, I'll let
out all the rest, to see if he be not bid in the barrel.
& I find him not there, I'll to the cupboard; I'll
not leave one corner of her house unsearched:
yfaith, ye old crust, I will be with you now.

[Exit.]