Classic Poem

Ho! all ye nervous women folk,
Who sigh that you were born;
Come, try a sovereign remedy
For half the ills you mourn.
I lately have discovered it,
And proved its potency,
By tasting at the fountain-head —
Tremont Place, Number Three.

Here, at this moral restaurant,
Our sex may always find,
When weary of domestic stews,
Nice lunches for the mind.
Essays are served at certain hours,
Gossip, of course, is free;
Discussion always is on tap,
And once a month, Club Tea.

I know whereof I speak, my friends,
For at this Woman's Club
I found a pleasant mingling
Of Heaven and the Hub.
No wine, cigars or gambling,
But wisdom, wit, and fun,
The matrons knit their husband's hose,
And quoted Emerson.

Wise virgins had their lamps well trimmed,
And lighted up the rooms
With luster of brave words and deeds, —
Worthy the noblest grooms;
Yet strong enough to stand alone,
(In hygienic boots),
And bear life's burdens, for they wore
The famous " freedom suits. "

" Home " was the dish we feasted on,
The evening I was there;
Garnished with eloquence, and served
On finest Cheney ware,
Porter was sipped to soothe the brains
Beneath each lofty bonnet;
No pewter pot the liquor held,
But it had a good " head " on it.

Flowers were there, and one I saw
That bore an honored name;
In Boston it has flourished long,
And with the Pilgrims came.
This plant a worthy scion was,
Stately and strong and gay;
'Twill make the modest posy blush
To add, it blooms in May .

Among the hills the farmers think
The Peabody bird sings ever,
" Sow your wheat! sow your wheat! " as if
To rouse all to endeavor.
Two Peabody birds this Club possessed.
One did cheerily sing
" We've gained our seats at last! " and one
" Let Kindergartens spring! "

I looked about me for the queen
Who ruled this busy hive,
Where work and play, reform and fun,
Together seemed to thrive.
I said, " I wish their magic spell
These blithe souls would avow. "
A dozen voices answered me —
" Look round and you'll see Howe . "

I said, " Can strangers enter here,
Led by some friendly Star? "
They answered, " If their Ames be good,
We care not who they are;
The young, the old, the rich, the poor,
And if a noble male
We Ferrette out, we welcome him,
With " Worthy brother, Hale! " "

Then hasten, all ye women folk:
Tuck up your skirts and walk.
Here's food for hungry hearts and souls,
Here mind with mind may talk.
Here spirits of the best are found,
Here flows the true Club Tea,
And the cream of human kindness,
At Tremont Place, Number Three.