Classic Poem

To the Tune of Old Simon the King .

I n an humour of late I was
Ycleped a dolefull dump ,

Thought I — we're at a fine pass;
Not a man stands up for the Rump:
But lets be lashed o'r and o'r.
While it lies like a senceless Fop. —
'Twould make a man a Whore ,
To see a Tail tew'd like a Top .
Though a Rump be a dangerous bit ,
And many a Knave runs mad on't,
Yet verily as it may hit,
An honest man may be glad on't.

To abuse a poor, Blind Creature —
I had like to have said and a Dumb;
But now it has gotten a Speaker ,
And Say is the Mouth of the Bum,
When Besse rul'd the Land there was no man
Complain'd, and yet now they rail:
I beseech you what differs a Woman
From a thing that's all Tongue, and Tayle?
Though a Rump, &c .

The Charter we've sworn to defend,
And propagate the Cause.
What call ye those of the Rump-end
But Fundamental Laws?
The Case is as clear as the Day,
There had been no Reformation,
If the Rump had claw'd it away,
You had had no Propagation.
Though a Rump, &c .

As a Bodie's the better for a Purge ,
Tho' the Guts may be troubled with Gripes:
So the Nation will mend with a Scourge ,
Tho' the Tayle may be sick of the Stripes .
Ill humours to conveigh,
When the State hath taken a Looseness .
(Who can hold what will away?)
The Rump must do the Business.
Though a Rump, &c .

The bold Cavalier , in the Field,
That laughs at your Sword , and Gun-shot ,
An Ord'nance makes him to yield ,
And he's glad to turn Tail to Bum-shot .
Old Oliver was a Teazer,
And waged warr with the Stump ,
But Alexander and Caesar
Did both submit to the Rump .
Though a Rump, &c .

Let no man be further misled
By an Errour, past Debate;
For Sedgwick has prov'd it the Head ,
As well of the Church as the State ,
Honest Hugh; that still turns up the Tippets ,
When he Kneels to Administer;
Sayes — a Rump, with Skippons sippets ,
Is a Dish for a Holy Sister .
Though a Rump, &c .

We're all the better for't,
'Tis the Fountain of Love , and of Life .
'Tis that makes the sport ,
Keeps the peace betwixt Man , and Wife .
Oh; — happy all they that have spent
Their Bloud , and Estates on the Breech ,
For they're sure at last to Repent;
And they'd better dye Honest than Rich!
Though a Rump, &c .

Through Pride of Flesh , or State ,
Poor Souls are overthrown
How happy then is our Fate?
We've a Rump to take us down;
In matters of Faith 'tis true,
Some differings there may be,
But give the Saints their due,
In the Rump they all agree.
Though a Rump, &c .

'Tis good at Bed , and at Bord;
It gives us Pleasure and Ease ,
Will you have the rest in a word?
'Tis good for the new disease,
(The Tumult of the Guts;)
'Tis a Recipe for the Kings Evill ,
Wash the Members as sweet as Nuts,
And then throw them all to the Devil.
Though a Rump be a dangerous Bit,
And many a Knave runs mad on't,
Yet verily, as it may hit,
An honest man may be glad on't.