Classic Poem

Tenacious Usurer, in Friendship! you
Ne'r did one Good Turn, but to get by't two;
And are so Covetous, you, to your Shame,
Wou'd get, what's not your Due too, your Good Name;
To Double Use, put out your Benefit,
Both Praise, and Gain, to get at once, for it,
Which you ne'er did, but for it, more to get;
So Forc'd Loans brought you in your Debtor's Debt;
Since a Good Turn you never yet wou'd do,
Till, for our Waiting, it did Wages grow;
Was our Due from you, e'er our Debt to you;
So, since our Due, with Shame, or Pain, we get,
From you, to you, we nothing are in Debt;
Your Friends your Favour, with such Hardship gain,
For what they borrow from you, take such Pain,
They justly of the Favour forc'd, complain;
Who, for it, Wait so long, such Duty do,
Your Grant, does their Disobligation grow;
Which makes you more in Debt to them, than they
To you, for Time they lose, and Service pay;
Whilst, by your Flat-Denial giv'n us, soon
Your Kindness, Manners, to us best were shown;
Since, a Denial were a Courtesie,
Or an Unkindness, a Civility,
Which lets no Friend, on you depend in vain,
For any Kindness he wou'd from you gain;
Which him, from Vain Hopes in you, best relieves,
Kindness, from your Denials, so receives;
Since, a Denial, which is giv'n us soon,
Men, for a greater Obligation, own,
Than a Slow Favour, done unwillingly
For Kindness not, but Importunity,
Than a Vexatious, Lingering Delay,
Which, for your Gift, our Patience takes away;
So the Slow Favour; Man does grudgingly,
Does, of a Kindness, turn an Injury,
But an Affront, of a Civility;
A Wrong, does of an Obligation grow,
Taking his Poor Friend's Patience from him so,
Till the Slow Favour a Dear Bargain grows,
Which we to gain, our Time and Patience lose;
So nothing now can ow, for such a Loan,
Granted by Force, for Oftentation done,
Not for Men's wanting Friends Sakes, but their own;
Like a quick Death then, quick Denials too,
From Friends, who will to Friends no Mercy show,
Of Injuries, but greater Favours grow;
Since he, who will not soon his Friend relieve,
Is kind, if him he soon does undeceive;
Which, but the sooner for him it is done,
He shou'd sure, for the greater Kindness, own,
Which brings him in his Debt, without his Loan;
Since Disappointment, all Men needs must grant,
Is more our Shame, or Trouble, than our Want;
For Disappointments, make Fools of the Wise,
When Want, Men, with more Patience, Sense supplies;
Then he's a Friend, who soon does Friends deny,
Their Vain Desires, with which he won't comply,
So them, denying them, does satisfie;
But, if a Friend be truly Generous,
He does himself, the Pleasure which he does,
Gives himself, what on others he bestows;
So, Restitution to himself he makes,
I'th' Pleasure, which, done to his Friend, he takes;
Is, for his Doing it, before-hand Paid,
By Satisfaction, he i'th' Good Deed, had;
Whilst he, who for the Favour, asks, or prays,
Or e'er 'tis done, long serves for it, or stays,
Makes it his own, for Precious Time he pays;
Or Flattery, he to his Vain, Great Friend,
Does give, his own Disparagement i'th' End;
The forc'd Good Turn, is so the Giver's Blame,
A Wrong to the Receiver, since his Shame;
A Rude Affront of a Kind Benefit,
Since he's made, out of Countenance, with it,
Which, if he Pardons, he is with it, quit;
Which was, e'er 'twas done to him, so delay'd,
It him, of Want of Merit, did upbraid;
To make the Boon, Disobligation, grow
An Injury, to make the Favour; so,
Tedious Relievers, like Physicians, are,
For their Relief, make Poor Men pay so dear,
And, for it, so much Pains, and Shame endure,
Their Evil's scarce as tedious, as its Cure;
Such Friends then, like the Mercenary Quack,
Their Cure much worse, than t'other's Evil, make,
Keep Patients, in Vain Hopes of Remedy,
At last, but more themselves to Magnifie,
Than to Relieve their Patient's Misery;
Keep them, in ling'ring Pain, till past Relief,
But by Vain Hopes of Ease, augment their Grief;
When they more charitably far wou'd do,
If they can't do 'em Good, to tell 'em so,
Not of their Precious Time, and Patience too;
To cheat 'em, by Vain Hopes of Remedy,
Since Justice 'tis, nay Height of Charity,
Soon to deny, as to give Speedily.