Classic Poem

If, as a guest, you think it meet
To sit on an old-fashion'd seat,
And on a mod'rate dish to sup,
Where herbs make all the banquet up,
At home I'll tarry for my friend
Just as the ev'ning rays descend.
Wine you shall drink in casks prepar'd
When Taurus was again declar'd;
Betwixt Minturnian fens 'twas press'd,
And where Petrinum's vines are dress'd,
But, if you've better, send for me,
Or else with these commands agree:
Bright shines my hearth, and, to be seen
By you, my furniture is clean.
From airy hopes and Moschus' cause,
And broils concerning riches pause:
The festal time of Caesar's birth
Shall give to-morrow peace and mirth;
It shall be lawful to prolong
The summer-night in social song.
What's Fortune, if I must forbear
To use it? — he that lives to spare
For his successor, self-severe,
Is raving mad, or very near.
I will begin to booze and straw
Sweet flow'rs, by no means kept in awe,
Tho' held a rake-shame for my pains —
How drinking whets th'inventive brains,
Discloses secrets, strengthens hope,
Makes dastards with the valiant cope,
The burthen lifts from anxious hearts,
Adapts a man to learn the arts!
Whose eloquence is not sublime,
That takes off bumpers at a time?
And who so poor and who so bare,
But in his cups is free from care?
These 'tis my duty to provide,
Both with propriety and pride,
And willingly I shall attend,
Lest dirty counterpanes offend,
That no foul napkin discompose,
To wrinkles, your discerning nose;
And that the cup and dish, we place,
Shall shine until you see your face,
That there be none to hear and spread,
What amongst faithful friends is said.
And that hale fellows be well met,
Brutus shall come to join the set,
Septimius and Sabinus too,
Unless h'as better cheer in view,
And prettier maids. There is to boot
Room for such danglers, as shall suit.
But guests, you know, too great a throng,
Are apt, like goats, to smell too strong.
Write back what number you wou'd be,
And from all other business free,
Tho' clients in your court-yard wait,
Deceive them at the postern gate.