Thickly lay the snow and frost on
Those long winding streets of Boston
Where I wander'd all engross'd on
Some enigma, little worth,
When there suddenly ascended
To my nostrils undefended
An aroma, sweetly blended
Of all savours upon earth.
Stopping short and upward gazing
I beheld a sight amazing,
Past description, blinding, dazing,
I shall ne'er forget it more;
For there all close at hand I
Saw a beauteous figure stand, I
Saw a someone putting candy
In the window of a store!
O that dear, that hateful someone ,
O that obstinately dumb one,
O there ne'er again will come one,
Half so cruel, half so sweet; —
'Twas a maiden, — nay a goddess,
In a tightly fitting bodice,
Sweetly smiling on the noddies
That were watching from the street.
As I stood in admiration,
In a sort of fascination
With a look of invitation
She turned round to me and smiled,
And so pleasantly she bent her
Eyes on me, as if she meant a
Special hint for me to enter,
That, alas, I was beguiled.
In I went, and she attended.
This and that she recommended
And I'm sure that I expended
Three whole dollars at the least;
What I did I've no idea,
I could neither see nor hear,
And I'm sure that she thought me a
Very curious sort of beast.
From that day began my sorrow, —
I was there upon the morrow,
Every day that I could borrow
Beg or steal a little cash;
There I sat from hour to hour
In a sort of spicy bower,
Munching on with all my power,
O how could I be so rash!
For I thought not of expenses,
Had no heed to consequences.
She had mastered all my senses
With the magic of her eye;
And I thought I should ensure her
If I could but kneel before her,
And declare I did adore her,
But I never dared to try!
Very many weeks passed, and I
Every day sat munching candy, —
Till in body, foot and hand I
Seemed to feel a curious change.
I seemed altered in dimension,
Altered past my comprehension,
And I felt a sort of tension
Most uncomfortably strange.
I consulted on the matter
Both my tailor and my hatter;
Said: " I fear I'm growing fatter " ;
Said the hatter: " Guess that's so;
For your hat, you see sir, pinches
And your head too closely clinches,
'Tis too small by three good inches,
Here's another, that'll do. "
And the tailor said: " You're right, sir,
All your clothes are much too tight, sir,
But you used to be so slight, sir,
When we made them, don't you see;
Round the middle you've increased, sir,
Twenty inches at the least, sir,
And your pantaloons have ceased, sir,
To hang loosely round your knee " .
So I left them in a hurry,
In a most confounded flurry,
And as fast as I could scurry
Made my way along the street;
After terror and confusion
Came the sudden resolution,
I would seek for a conclusion
Of my pain at Mary's feet.
Gasping, panting, puffing, blowing,
On I hurried, little knowing
That I never more should go in
That infernal candy-store, —
For I found the windows shut up,
All the decorations cut up,
And a piece of paper put up:
" Left the town, apply next door. "
In a terrible excitement,
Wondering what on earth the flight meant,
I inquired what the sight meant
Of that paper on the door;
And they told me that the late man
Was so bothered by a fat man
That 'twas on account of that man
He had flitted from the store.
*****
O, how could you be so cruel,
Mary, if you only knew all,
How I'm now reduced to gruel
You would not have left me so,
Through all your shameful tricks I
'm in a fearful, fearful fix, I
Hope for nought but apoplexy,
And it's all through you, you know.
Those long winding streets of Boston
Where I wander'd all engross'd on
Some enigma, little worth,
When there suddenly ascended
To my nostrils undefended
An aroma, sweetly blended
Of all savours upon earth.
Stopping short and upward gazing
I beheld a sight amazing,
Past description, blinding, dazing,
I shall ne'er forget it more;
For there all close at hand I
Saw a beauteous figure stand, I
Saw a someone putting candy
In the window of a store!
O that dear, that hateful someone ,
O that obstinately dumb one,
O there ne'er again will come one,
Half so cruel, half so sweet; —
'Twas a maiden, — nay a goddess,
In a tightly fitting bodice,
Sweetly smiling on the noddies
That were watching from the street.
As I stood in admiration,
In a sort of fascination
With a look of invitation
She turned round to me and smiled,
And so pleasantly she bent her
Eyes on me, as if she meant a
Special hint for me to enter,
That, alas, I was beguiled.
In I went, and she attended.
This and that she recommended
And I'm sure that I expended
Three whole dollars at the least;
What I did I've no idea,
I could neither see nor hear,
And I'm sure that she thought me a
Very curious sort of beast.
From that day began my sorrow, —
I was there upon the morrow,
Every day that I could borrow
Beg or steal a little cash;
There I sat from hour to hour
In a sort of spicy bower,
Munching on with all my power,
O how could I be so rash!
For I thought not of expenses,
Had no heed to consequences.
She had mastered all my senses
With the magic of her eye;
And I thought I should ensure her
If I could but kneel before her,
And declare I did adore her,
But I never dared to try!
Very many weeks passed, and I
Every day sat munching candy, —
Till in body, foot and hand I
Seemed to feel a curious change.
I seemed altered in dimension,
Altered past my comprehension,
And I felt a sort of tension
Most uncomfortably strange.
I consulted on the matter
Both my tailor and my hatter;
Said: " I fear I'm growing fatter " ;
Said the hatter: " Guess that's so;
For your hat, you see sir, pinches
And your head too closely clinches,
'Tis too small by three good inches,
Here's another, that'll do. "
And the tailor said: " You're right, sir,
All your clothes are much too tight, sir,
But you used to be so slight, sir,
When we made them, don't you see;
Round the middle you've increased, sir,
Twenty inches at the least, sir,
And your pantaloons have ceased, sir,
To hang loosely round your knee " .
So I left them in a hurry,
In a most confounded flurry,
And as fast as I could scurry
Made my way along the street;
After terror and confusion
Came the sudden resolution,
I would seek for a conclusion
Of my pain at Mary's feet.
Gasping, panting, puffing, blowing,
On I hurried, little knowing
That I never more should go in
That infernal candy-store, —
For I found the windows shut up,
All the decorations cut up,
And a piece of paper put up:
" Left the town, apply next door. "
In a terrible excitement,
Wondering what on earth the flight meant,
I inquired what the sight meant
Of that paper on the door;
And they told me that the late man
Was so bothered by a fat man
That 'twas on account of that man
He had flitted from the store.
*****
O, how could you be so cruel,
Mary, if you only knew all,
How I'm now reduced to gruel
You would not have left me so,
Through all your shameful tricks I
'm in a fearful, fearful fix, I
Hope for nought but apoplexy,
And it's all through you, you know.