Classic Poem

Since for Kings Seconds, Politicians go
Who do their Pleasure, and secure 'em too;
Do, what they for their own Selves cannot do.
To make their Happiness and Safety sure;
Their Pow'r by Love, more than by Force, endure;
Pimps merit most their Favour and Esteem,
Who make Kings happier, than they can them;
And from Love's Chains, their conquer'd Kings redeem.
Who, to their She-Slaves else wou'd Homage pay,
And give to Love their Empire quite away;
Their Scepter to the Distaff wou'd betray;
Did not Pimps put New Conquests in their Pow'r,
Their Subjects Hearts securing to them more,
Than any other Watchful Minister,
Whom, to their Secret Councils Kings prefer;
But, because they best Politicians are,
Still of their King's best Secrets to take Care;
Who, (whilst all others by King's Services,
Seek only their own Honour, and own Ease)
Will, for their Master's special Service chuse,
Their own Peace, Honour, faithfully to lose,
Rather than their King's Honour they'd expose:
Who Captives to their Vassals else wou'd be,
Did not their Pimps, from Love's Chains set 'em free.
So Pimps, are Politicians of best Parts,
Who, for Enslaving Men, have surest Arts;
Most Pow'r have o'er their Minds, by knowing best their Hearts.
Since no kind of Intrigue at Court goes on,
Which is to them a Secret, or unknown.
Nay, Pimping's Honourable, since for it
No Fool, or Knave, or Traytor, cou'd be fit;
Their Pimp must have Faith, Diligence, and Wit,
Policy, Vigilance, and Eloquence,
Art, Industry, with good Intelligence;
And the most Courtly Virtue, Confidence:
Must have the Parts, (his Duty well to do)
Of Soldier, Courtier, Politician too;
A Soldier be, to make a bold Attack,
Ne'r by Repulses to be driven back;
Must lay Siege closely, Watch, and Undermine,
Make False Attempts, to hide his True Design;
The Courtier act, the Man of Bus'ness too;
That he, for Two at once, may Bus'ness do;
To gain Ears, Hearts, a True Friend must appear;
To work on Passions, a Philosopher;
To have his King's Ear, a Bold Orator;
Be dumb in Love, to speak his Passion more;
To speak, or hold his Tongue, must wisely know,
His Parts by Speech, less than by Silence, show;
Like Princes must too, do Good publickly,
Have Honour, Faith, and Liberality;
And like their Counsellours, safe Secrecy:
Whence Pimps, for Privy-Counsellours, are best;
Wherefore the Turks , (now Wise Men of the East,
Where once Wise Men were said to live at least)
From Schools of Venus politickly take,
Such as they, great i'th' School of Mars wou'd make
So Pimps, who then are Love's best Ministers,
Deserve best what they have, their Prince's Ears;
Guards of their Secrets, Partners of their Care,
Shame, for their Faults, like Favourites to bear;
Who, the best Secrets of their Princes keep,
And watch, that they may with more Safety sleep;
The best Supports are then of Majesty,
By Mending still the Royal Progeny,
Since Fools, nor Cowards come by Bastardy;
Nature's Legitimates, so Bastards are,
Whence, of her Gifts they have a double Share:
Love is more Honourable, as more Free
Whilst Marriage, which enslaves Men more (we see)
And is but much more Mercenary too,
But less, for Honourable Love shou'd go;
So the Priest's Office shou'd be more his Shame,
As he makes Man pay dearer for his Dame,
For Life, to venture into Slavery,
With Woman, but to have more Liberty,
By Marriage, to make Love, dishonourably;
Whilst Pimping sure, a Nobler Calling is,
By which Man's made more Free, more Brave, and Wise;
To save his Honour, keep his Liberty,
By shunning, Cuckoldom Church-Slavery;
So Pimps do not the World Effeminate,
By Bastard's Wit, and Honour propagate;
Seldom found in the Dull Legitimate:
Then Priests, worst Pimps, in making Matches prove,
Making them more for Interest, than Love;
Against Consent, oft of both Parties too,
Make Matches, which, more just Pimps never do;
So, much more conscionable, may be said,
To be those Matches, which, by Pimps, are made;
Which, are more Honourable, and more Just,
As there, betwixt both Parties, is more Trust;
If that the Honour of our Faith, be more,
As more the Breach of it, is in our pow'r;
And Love's more Honourable, as more Free,
Whoring less Shame, than Marriage, ought to be;
If Liberty too, be the Mark of Pow'r,
Which Priests restrain, and frank Pimps give us more;
Whilst one by Love; brings Man to Slavery,
T'other, by Love, gives him more Liberty,
By which, he makes Love, but more Hon'rably;
Thus Pimps, by whom, Monarchs both live, and move.
Best Ministers, 'twixt King, and People prove,
Ruling their Prince's Ruler, Tyrant Love;
Without which, wou'd, all Potentates, (we see,)
Tyrants, of Fathers of their Countries be,
Did not Pimps make 'em to Love's Empire bow,
Soft'ning their Hearts, soothing their Passions too;
So Pimps, are Kings best Ministers of State,
Unite the People, make their Princes Great,
Peopling their Realms, their Pow'r best propagate;
But, to Destruction, make 'em ne'r inclin'd,
Or e'er to draw their Weapons, (as we find,)
To lessen, but to multiply their Kind:
So Pimps deserve most Honour, or most Praise,
Who serve the World, tho' to their own Disgrace,
Whilst most Proud, Public Ministers, but deign,
To serve the Public, for their private Gain,
Their Honour not to lose, but to maintain;
And Conquerors, the Stiles of Great, and Good,
Acquire, but by their shedding Human Blood;
Whilst Nobler Pimps, much more to their Renown,
Scorn Fame, to propagate the World alone,
Give, and save Lives, at Hazard of their own.
Such then, for Hero's, in my Verse, shall live,
Since 'tis less Honour, Lives to take, than give.