Classic Poem

1.

A thin ill-natured ghost that haunts the king
Till him, and us, he does to ruin bring,
Impeached and pardoned, impudently rides
The council and the Parliament bestrides,
Where some bought members (like his serving men)
To all his lies devoutly say " amen. "
This brazen liar, this known carted knave,
Is now the man the church and state must save.

2.

Room for the pink of starched civility!
The emptiness of old nobility!
The fop, without distinction, does apply
His bows, and smiles to all promiscuously
With an affected careless wave of his wand,
And tottering on, does neither go nor stand:
So humbly proud and so genteelly dull,
Too weak for council and too old for trull,
That to conclude with this bilk-stately thing
He's a mere costly piece of garnishing.

3.

A drowsy wittall drawn down to his last,
Dead before's time for having lived too fast,
Lives now upon the wit that's long since gone:
Nothing but bulk remains; the soul is flown.
The little good that's sometimes on him said
Is because men will speak well of the dead.
For when all's done this honest, worthy man
Has no remorse for taking what he can.

4.

A grave eye and an o'er-thinking face
Seem to distinguish him from all his race.
But Nature's proud, and scorning all restraint,
By sudden starts shows there's a mortal taint,
Which to a good observer makes it plain
The frenzy will ere long break out again.
But after all, to do him right, 'tis sad
The best of all the nine should be stark mad.

5.

A good attorney was spoiled when his ill fate
(And ours) made him a secretary of state.
Or if his part had been to give a charge
At county sessions where he might enlarge!
He has a rare method to display a thing
(With mighty force) not worth the mentioning.
But the fine gilded reed is much too weak
To bear the weight he's under; he must break.

6.

Next painter, draw a jackanapes of state,
A monkey turned into a magistrate.
A saucy wight borne up with heat and noise,
Fit only for a ringleader of boys,
To untile neighbors' houses and to play
Such uncouth gambols on a holiday.
Strange! that so young a government should dote,
So as to let a whirlwind steer the boat.

7.

Ungrateful toadstool! despicable thing!
Thus to betray thy master and thy king!
Nay, he was thy maker too, who, from the dust,
Raised thee — though 'twas to all mankind's disgust.
William, with all his courage, must be afraid
To trust the villain who has James betrayed.
For sure, nothing can e'er redeem thy crime
But the same brutal trick a second time.

8.

As rich in words as he is poor in sense,
An empty piece of misplaced eloquence,
With a soft voice and a moss-trooper's smile,
The widgeon fain the Commons would beguile;
But he is known, and it is hard to express
How they deride his northern genteelness
While he lets loose the dull insipid stream
Of his set speeches, made up of whipped cream.

9.

'Tis here alone you'll find (where'er you seek)
A profound statesman with a cherry cheek;
He has a quick eye and a sprightly glance;
His face is a map of jolly ignorance.
The lilies and the roses so disposed
Should not by careful thought be discomposed.
Pity the fat, round, pretty, blushing thing
Should ere be thus condemned to counseling.