Classic Poem

SAT. V.

Saw'st thou euer Siquis patch'd on Pauls Church dore,
To seeke some vacant Vicarage before?
Who wants a Churchman, that can seruice sey,
Read fast, and faire, his monthly Homiley?
And wed, and bury, and make Christen-soules?
Come to the leftside Alley of Saint Poules .
Thou seruile Foole: why could'st thou not repaire
To buy a Benefice at Steeple-Faire?
There moughtest thou for but a slender price,
Aduouson thee with some fat benefice:
Or if thee list not wait for dead mens shoo'n,
Nor pray ech-morn th'Incumbents daies were doone:
A thousand Patrons thither ready bring,
Their new-falne Churches to the Chaffering,
Stake three yeares Stipend : no man asketh more:
Go take possession of the Church-porch-doore:
And ring the bels: lucke stroken in thy fist:
The Parsonage is thine, or ere thou wist.
Saint Fooles of Gotam mought thy parish bee,
For this thy base and seruile Symonie .