English

Hazy or not,
come out of the clouds,
spring moon!

A MAN of adamant you surely are
To love a dame who loves stale vinegar,
A dame whose palate whelks and tripe enchant,
Who thinks bananas too extravagant,
Whose maid brings in (rare trove!) a common pot
Of spoiled sardines to eat before they rot;
Grown lowish now and not afraid to shock
She begs for flannelette to make a frock;
My dame will ask for attar, precious stuff,
" Worth " for her frocks is hardly good enough:
Fine graded pearls and emeralds I must find.
And gold is copper to her generous mind.

You were not born in Paris nor yet Armentieres,
And you live in a flat near Park Lane, it appears.
Your father I know was a native of Thame,
And your simple old mother from Somerset came;
Yet though you're as English as honest Queen Bess,
As " cheri" and " mon chou" all your men you address.
A couch is the place for such phrases as these,
When a maiden is anxious her lover to please.
Perhaps you would learn like our matrons to speak,
And ways of allurement to win lovers seek?
Well, though you may practise the tricks of Paree,

What Leda in another swan's embrace
Bore you these pages twain so like in face?
In Hierus a Pollux we behold,
Asylus wears the mien of Castor bold,
And both have Helen's beauty. Had they been
In Sparta when small gifts made Venus queen,
Paris had cried — " No Tyndaris I need:
I choose instead this double Ganymede."

You return me my bond for four thousand. 'twere better
To lend me a thousand and leave me your debtor.
You must find some one else to oblige in that way;
The money's my own which I cannot repay.

Thou Appian Way, of all our roads the queen,
Whom Caesar hallows as Alcides seen,
If thou wouldst know the toils of Hercules,
Hark to the tale and listen — they are these.
He killed the Libyan, won the fruit of gold,
And took her girdle from the Amazon bold;
The lion and the Arcadian boar he slew,
Nor let the hydra's heads spring forth anew;
The brazen stag, the birds of Stymphalus,
He drove away, from hell dragged Cerberus,
And to the Tiber Geryon's cattle brought:
These are the deeds the lesser hero wrought.

A NTONIUS loves my humble verses, friend,
If to his letter we may credence lend;
The glory of our wise Tolosa he,
Child of repose and bland felicity.
Go then, my book, and be of love a token
Whose strength by journeys long is never broken,
A trivial thing, if one should buy and give,
But from the author value you derive.
Great is the difference 'tween fountain-head
And water stagnant in a trough of lead.

DOCTOR H EROD when caught with a cup in his pocket
Said — " Wine does you harm; if you're wise, you will dock it."

You ask — " Has he any real name of his own,
This person you call Mr Algernon Brown"?
I'm damned if I know: call him Brown, my dear fellows:
I can't bear the blame of your friend's peccadilloes.

When Algernon Brown was a bachelor gay
He was put by the girls at the top of class A;
But his value has sadly decreased since he wed,
And now he appears at the bottom of Z.