Classic Poem

My dear, I'm awful shorry
'Bout gettin' home sho late.
I orra been in hoursh ago;
But you know how I hate
To biss a crit of micket
(Shuse me) I mean to say,
To criss a mit of bicket
Cricket! Ash right. Hooray!


In-toshicated? Nonshense!
Just need a lirrle rest.
I shush been round to Johnson's place
Lish'nin' to the Test.
Great game! It's nervish teshion
Has made me feel like thish.
You know how I like cricket
I wouldn't bit a mish.


Hooray for Misher Bra'man!
Anurraa fourer hit!
Hoo - what? Don't be inshultin'!
I'm norra leash bit lit!
Not even s'ightly shrozzled.
Jush had a lirrle spot
Each time they hirra fourer
Mean to call tharra - lot?


My dear, don't get - hic - cited,
I wouldn't hissa mit.
Three sheers for good old Washaname!
Anurra boun'ry hit! ...
Hic! Struse me, love. Per-haps you're right,
I berra gessum rest.
Jush beein - Hum! You know, Jolson's place
Lish'nin' to - the Test.