Classic Poem

" Thank you — much obliged, old boy.
Yes, it's so; report says true.
I'm engaged to Nell Latine —
What else could a fellow do?

Governor was getting fierce;
Asked me, with paternal frown,
When I meant to go to work,
Take a wife, and settle down.
Stormed at my extravagance,
Talked of cutting off supplies —
Fairly bullied me, you know —
Sort of thing that I despise.

Well, you see, I lost worst way
At the races — Governor raged —
So, to try and smooth him down,
I went off, and got engaged.
Sort of put-up thing, you know —
All arranged with old Latine —
Nelly raved about it first,
Said her " pa was awful mean!"

Now it's done we don't much mind —
Tell the truth, I'm rather glad;
Looking at it every way,
One must own it isn't bad.

She's good-looking, rather rich, —
Mother left her quite a pile;
Dances, goes out everywhere;
Fine old family, real good style.
Then she's good, as girls go now,
Some idea of wrong and right,
Don't let every man she meets
Kiss her, on the self-same right.

We don't do affection much,
Nell and I are real good friends,
Call there often, sit and chat,
Take her 'round, and there it ends.

Spooning! Well, I tried it once —
Acted like an awful calf —
Said I really loved her. Gad!
You should just have heard her laugh
Why, she ran me for a month,
Teased me till she made me wince;
" Mustn't flirt with her," she said,
So I haven't tried it since.

'Twould be pleasant to be loved
Like you read about in books —
Mingling souls, and tender eyes —
Love, and that, in all their looks;
Thoughts of you, and no one else;
Voice that has a tender ring,
Sacrifices made, and — well —
You know — all that sort of thing.

That's all worn-out talk, they say,
Don't see any of it now —
Spooning on your fiancee
Isn't good style, anyhow.

Just suppose that one of us, —
Nell and me, you know — some day
Got like that on some one else —
Might be rather awkward — eh!
All in earnest, like the books —
Wouldn't it be awful rough!
Jove! if I — but pshaw, what bosh!
Nell and I are safe enough. —

Some time in the Spring, I guess;
Be on hand to wish us joy?
Be a groomsman, if you like —
Lots of wine — good-bye, old boy. "