Member Poem

If you were to ask,
I would say my biggest fear is the dark
But that's only half the truth

It's the unknown that scares me
The waiting,
The uncertainty,
The time passing me by
I'm an observer of my own life, Scared that I'm not living
But too scared to live
I wish that I could freeze time,
Learn how to live my life

I crave change,
And yet I'm drowning in its waves
If I stay still I'll grow stagnant,
But moving means charting a new course
And I'm not ready
I'm
Not
Ready.

I'm terrified of the future
Terrified that I won't be the person I want to be,
But I don't even know who she is
I don't know how to build towards the stars
When there's so many clouds
I can't see the tops of the trees around me
I don't know how to swim to shore
When I can't even see land

I'm stuck treading water
Knowing that if I don't pick a direction
And start swimming,
I'll drown
But there's already water in my lungs
Weighing me down

Time
Won't
Wait.
Time won't wait
For me to learn how to swim
How to live
Time doesn't care if I'm headed off a cliff
Time doesn't care how many memories I miss
How many I forget

I hold onto the future so tight
That I miss the present in front of my eyes
I need to let go
Let time pass me by
And learn to live my life

But I've survived by holding on too tight
And it might just kill me,
Learning to fly