Member Poem

The day after you
Shot yourse-
                       Died,
My sister showed up
At my front door
With cookie dough
And ice cream.
We sat on the kitchen counters
Like we were still oka-
five years old,
Playing pretend.
The day after
You di-
left
I sat on the table
In the doctors office,
While the nurse talked
About her vacation
And shootin-
Being at the gun range,
While I thought abo-
Pictured you-
Heard the-
Stared at my shoes.
The day aft-
       That day
I spent a lot of time
In the parking lot
Blaming y-
Missing yo-
     Thinking.
I was safe
Inside a car with
Your-
        My music blaring,
And as long as I stayed
That way,
It wasn't tru-
     It would be okay.
Sometimes
It is that day
All over again
     And agai- and ag-
Sometimes months pass
In the blink of an eye,
And sometimes
Time won't move.
I think I understa-
     Most of the time-
         I'll never understand
Why.
That da-
Today
I listen to your-
My music,
Just to fee-
Bring you back-
      Forget-
Remember
That today is an 18th,
And there have been
9 months of 18ths
Without you-
With you always in my thoughts,
Helping me,
Giving me a reason
On the hard days-
Every
Day.