I float here in my sea,
dark, cold, and deep.
I cannot see the depths below,
Is something reaching up for me?
I feel no touch, no grasp, just cold,
As I float here in my sea.
Yet dread lingers in the silence.
Is something reaching up for me?
Will something rise to claim me,
And drag me to the murky deep,
Or will I float forever,
In my endless lonely sea?
Anxiety grips like a vice, so tight,
A life ruled by fear, fear of all things,
How can I break free from this endless night?
Each breath I take feels like a fight,
A future unknown, the shadow clings,
Anxiety grips like a vice, so tight.
I watch the world, slipping out of sight,
From the sidelines, where nothing springs,
How can I break free from this endless night?
I dream of peace, of unshackled flight,
But each step forward, the darkness stings,
Anxiety grips like a vice, so tight.
In the mirror, I am a ghost,
a puppet of the world's illusions,
its expectations heavy as chains,
strings long since frayed by the violence of my mind.
Inside, I am a graveyard,
the dead whispering the things I cannot say.
Tears hidden behind smiles that crack like old paint.
The court of fools calls to me,
eyes blind to the burden I carry.
I play the jester for them,
but if death came tonight,
I would take his hand,
and breathe a sigh of relief.
Death kissed my lips and took my hand,
Guiding me through a world so strange,
Where we never parted, never knew the pain,
Where love was never lost, never estranged.
What joy we’d have known, what life we’d have lived,
If only you had not gone away.
I would have held you close, forever near,
In a world untouched by cold decay.
But death’s embrace is all I was granted,
A walk with him, through memories undaunted,
Where you and I remain unbroken,
In the shadows of what might have been.
for anyone struggling with self-image
She has a comely form
and a smile that brightens her dorm ...
but she’s grossly unthin
when seen from within;
soon a griefstricken campus will mourn.
Yet she’d never once criticize
a friend for the size of her thighs.
Do unto others—
sisters and brothers?
Yes, but also ourselves, likewise.
Published by Poem-a-Day, Miss Gorilla and The HyperTexts
Sadness, despair, depression, madness
Are the words that entrap my mind when looking at the bland brown house.
The one house with all grey walls.
The one with the single tan car going back and fourth.
The one where even when we exited our drought, no bright flowers began to sprout.
The one that belongs to a dear Ms. Sky.
I cry and break down a lot
I lie and say I'm okay when I'm really not
I reminisce and look at my wrist at all the scars I've got
When you took my mother at 10 months the heartache started
God bless the souls of ALL the dearly departed
Please tell me is my child up there?
You taking her still doesn't seem fair
I get depressed and won't come out for days
God forgive me for my vengeful ways
Daddy beat me I blamed myself
The pills and therapy, I tried to get some help
Ended putting my heart back on the shelf
“It’s your body's’ way of protecting you.”
I was told
as I felt the singeing handprint of my mother burn into my thigh.
It’s my body’s way of protecting me.
I remind myself
as I feel his hands all over me
in the middle of the night
when i can only think about the yellow street light
that filtered in
and cascaded over his large frame
like water pouring unexpectedly
from the sky.
“It’s my body’s way of protecting me.”
I explain to the one person who can touch me
I am drowning in my pain
Spinning faster and faster
I closed my eyes to escape
From my momentary lapse of reason
In my grave reality of my demise
But there is nowhere to hide
In a world of complete emptiness
I am going under faster and faster
Feeling nothing but helplessness
And everything was still
Just as hope seemed to have faded
There was shelter in the distance
That shelter was you and I felt warm
And everything was still
Even from the depths of my mind
I knew I was trapped frozen in time
The night continues to fall
and I become one with the shadows.
